You see that sign over the toll booth, the one that says "EZ-PASS ONLY"? Where on it does it say, "Except on Tuesdays"? Please do not be backing your big-ass pickup into my wee Volkswagen just because you're too stupid to make sure you're in the right lane *before* you enter the booth. In case you haven't noticed, there are cars comng up behind me at 60 mph and I don't care to be turned into a human accordion. Just sit your ass in that booth and let all the other drivers and the booth attendants point at you and laugh until an attendant takes pity on you and raises the gate.
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Please stop barfing when I'm at the bookstore. Feel free to barf all you want when Andrew's working.
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Dear fruit of my loins,
Please do your Reading homework. I'm tired of getting notes from your teacher informing me that you haven't been prepared for class. Just because the assignment doesn't involve dragons doesn't give you a free pass.
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Dear Old Man Winter,
I'd like a refund, please. I specifically ordered a winter with cold weather and occasional frozen precipitation, not 60 degrees and bright sunshine.
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